President Trump SHOCKED the press Monday with an infomercial of news clips extolling his crisis leadership. ABC’s Jonathan Karl asked Mr. Trump why the “campaign ad” was shown, and CNN’s Jim Acosta accused Mr. Trump of “sounding very like Baghdad Bob.” Really? Trump told them “we’re getting fake news and I like to have it corrected,” meaning two can play this game. With many job seekers and few viewers, CNN’s staff should be worried (a dog with a note could do better).
If you can reduce southern Republicans to Goober Pyle stereotypes without actually having met a southern Republican, you can work for CNN.
If you can report Robert De Nero’s anti-Trump profanity as intellectual honesty and Kanye West’s Oval Office visit as an Uncle Tom minstrel show, you can work for CNN.
If you think James Comey’s investigation was apolitical justice and William Barr’s investigation is a partisan cover-up, you can work for CNN.
If you think the Trump campaign criminally conspired with Russia and the Clinton campaign innocently bought opposition research from Russia, you can work for CNN.
If you believed Christine Blasey Ford and Stormy Daniels then, but don’t believe Tara Reade now, you can work for CNN.
If you complained about Trump’s xenophobia in January and now complain he acted too slowly to contain the coronavirus, you can work for CNN.
If you thought states-rights arguments during the Obama years were racist dog whistles, but think states-rights arguments today uphold the constitution, you can work for CNN.
If you thought Barack Obama was a statesman for the Iran Nuclear deal and Trump was reckless for moving the US embassy to Jerusalem, you can work for CNN.
If you think Colin Kaepernick should play in the NFL and Jerry Jones should shut up about standing for the National Anthem, you can work for CNN.
If you’d rather roll easter eggs – and go for a swim later – with Bill Clinton than Melania Trump, you can work for CNN.
If you were 10 for 10 on the CNN test, congratulations. You can now work for MSNBC!