As Biden was inaugurated, the DAPs (Dumb Ass Progressive), EOLs (Eco-Obsessed Lunatic), and IBRs (I Been Resisting) brayed mad-liberal blarney on TV. MSNBC’s Eddie Glaude: Biden “heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds. Maybe the dead will speak to us now. Maybe they can rest now.” CBS’s Major Garret: Biden “sounded like a priest explaining something from the Bible or something.” Proof that fact is stranger than fiction, right?
I was entirely creeped out. I get the Trump Derangement thing, but this was “take a cold shower” weird. If you got caught up in the honeymoon glow and felt even the slightest arousal, better take this Mad-Liberal pop quiz and remember why you’re a Republican.
If you think your dope-smoking slacker nephew should spend four tuition-free years at State U, you’re probably a Democrat.
If that Nativity scene in front of the local grade school doesn’t offend you, you’re probably a Republican.
If you wonder why cute guys don’t hit on you after making the bartender turn off Fox News, you’re probably a Democrat.
If you think a shift to natural gas has reduced more carbon emissions than the Paris Accord, you’re probably a Republican.
If you rooted for Apollo Creed in Rocky, you’re probably a Democrat.
If you don’t believe dead folks get to vote, you’re probably a Republican.
If you wanted to pass the Affordable Care Act to find out what was in the bill, you’re probably a Democrat.
If you like The Dirty Dozen more than Dances with Wolves, you’re probably a Republican.
If you think burning and looting is peaceable assembly, you’re probably a Democrat
If you trust your employer more than the federal government, you’re probably a Republican.
If you think de-funding your local police department is worth a try, you’re probably a Democrat.
If The Squad reminds you of the air-heads in junior high, you’re probably a Republican.
WHAT IT ALL MEANS – You might have leaned a little left because Trump left you dazed and confused. However, leaning hard left means you should not operate heavy equipment: you’re a danger to yourself and others (kind of like Nancy Pelosi wanting in on the nuclear chain of command before Biden was sworn in).